Break up Depression – Learning to get over it

One day as I was listening to the famous, “BREAK UP SONG”, a little more minutely and analytically, I wondered, “oh what a song! And how true every word is!” Well, the famous BREAKUP song reveals many bitter facts regarding “How to deal with a Breakup Depression”.

As a counseling psychologist, I deal with many cases. Out of which break up depression is truly a tough one to deal with. Because this segment includes youngsters mostly. They invest their time and emotions in a relationship. And when it ends on a bitter note, they feel terrible. They sink into the depression to the extent of taking their lives!

Well depression can be described as an outcome of any problem or prolonged exposure to stress. Be it, failure in love, exams, career, disputes in family, children, loss of a loved one, a pet, experiencing major setbacks in life, etc. The list seems almost endless! Well, whatever, basically, “DEPRESSION IS A STATE OF MIND”. Just like happiness, sadness, euphoria, high and low are different moods. Just the same way, depression too is an emotion. Or say an outcome of a low state of mood when experienced for a longer period.

Signs of Depression

• Constantly feeling low
• Confidence issues
• Feeling low self-worth
• Disinterested or show a lack of interest in everyday life and activities
• Feeling worthless
• Experiencing a chain reaction of negative thoughts constantly
• Feeling suicidal
• Feeling doomy and gloomy most of the time
• Shutting oneself from the outside world
• Feeling lonely
• Sinking in depressive thoughts
• Feeling there is no way to get out of the problem or the low mood
• Afraid of starting a new life
• Afraid of trusting any new relationship
• Always carrying the baggage of the past relationship
• Always being dozed by the past relationship memories
• Feel vulnerable and keep crying intermittently, and many more….

Depression is like a dark tunnel – no one knows where it is leading to. Depression is like a deep dark pit, if one falls, then just sinks into it deeply. One finds it hard to overcome grief or say DEPRESSION.

A person, who is experiencing depression for whatever reason, generally cuts off oneself from the outside world. They just love to be in their gloomy world. But when this becomes chronic they can attempt at suicide.

People generally take negative steps to deal with depression

• Indulging in substance abuse, like drugs, alcohol, smoking etc.
• Making several futile suicide attempts
• Harming oneself
• Indulging in binge eating
• Indulging in unsafe sexual activities
• Porn addiction
• Expressing oneself negatively by being quarrelsome, moody
• Expressing displeasure through anger outbursts or emotional outbursts (crying inconsolably)
• Social media addiction
• Binge shopping and many more….

When a person is going through the phase of depression, generally their feel-good hormones take a dip. Hence one has to find out positive ways to deal with depression, especially depression due to break up.

Steps to deal with Breakup Depression

• Accept the fact that the relationship is over
• Accept it that you are not the only one on the faulty side for the end of the relationship
• Do not share your negative feelings about the person on social media
• Delete all the details, photos and memories on social media
• Do not spread negativity about each other on social media. This will add to the woes further and both will experience more pain out of it
• Block all the contacts of the person from all social media and phone to avoid receiving further messages
• Do not spread negativity about one another in any other social circles
• If the relationship ended due to infidelity of the partner, then accept that you always deserved someone much better
• Don’t hold any grudges
• Stop thinking about the bitter past continuously. What has happened has happened and accept it as a bad dream or bad fate and move on with your life
• Do not keep thinking about negative things about the relationship or your life. Negative thoughts always attract more negativity. This will cast more gloom upon you
• Try to get back to your routine
• Hit the gym, pull up your socks and sweat out with exercises or jogs
• Physical activities help in releasing feel-good hormones in the body. That helps to deal with DEPRESSION.
• Practice mindfulness/ meditation. It will calm your mind and keep negative thoughts at bay
• Take up some hobby or take up any work that brings enthusiasm in you
• Get in touch with family and friends more and more
• If you have a pet, spend more time with your pet. This shifts your focus. It will also release oxytocin a love hormone in abundance which also happens to be a feel-good hormone.
• If you do not have a pet, then try getting one. A pet loves you unconditionally. But be aware, a pet comes with a commitment to life and responsibilities.
• Avoid questions regarding your relationship status from relatives and friends. Give them a befitting reply. It is ok
• Indulge in some social work activities to make you feel more worthy. Nothing like working for a social cause
• Get onto the spiritual path. Seek the help of a guru
• Always look at the ABUNDANCE of LIFE
• Get help from your close family members and friends. Talk to them and open about our condition.
• Always believe, they are non-judgmental, they love you for what you are.
• Always believe that life doesn’t end with the end of a RELATIONSHIP
• Give yourself a second chance to explore new relationships
• Always believe in yourself and your family and friends. If one person ditches you- still you have other who love you for what you are
• If things look getting worse, then take a professional help

Talking to online counselors is always a better option. ONLINE COUNSELORS are trained mental health professionals who help you to get through this tough phase. ONLINECOUNSELING4U provides the best ONLINE COUNSELING services, while you are sitting in the comforts of your home.

ONLINE COUNSELORS are non-judgemental people. They listen to one’s problems keenly and provide with the best possible solutions. Maintaining anonymity and extreme confidentiality are the plus points of talking to an ONLINE COUNSELOR.

Opening up about one’s problems to COUNSELING professionals lightens your heart. Their valuable suggestions, bits of advice, and strategies help you deal with one’s condition. They help us to look from the other point of view towards the problem. This widens one’s perspective about life and helps one to understand one’s situation much better. In this way, one can easily empathize with oneself.

If any RELATIONSHIP looks like at the verge of ending, then give it a beautiful end… instead of ending it on a bitter note. After all, it felt good when it was good!!

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