10 Ways to deal with Breakup on Your Own

When you form a relationship you invest your emotions, feelings, time, mind, and your soul and have a hope within to continue that relationship forever, no matter what it takes. But then one day, all of a sudden your partner breaks up with you leaving your heart shattered into a million pieces. You feel clueless about the whole breakup situation and the reason behind it. You feel as if life has ended for you and the other person just left you in the middle of nowhere and you can’t pick yourself up anymore. You often start to blame yourself or your partner for the break-up and each day starts with confusion and question marks and ends with tears. It is normal to feel like this because we are humans and when something unexpected happens, for example, a break-up, it creates a huge impact on our mental as well as physical health.

When we encounter break-ups we often take help from our friends to help us deal with the whole situation and they stand beside us. But, after a certain point of time it’s our job to gather ourselves again and move on in our life because our friends have their life with lots of dramas but they still manage to support us and talk to us and it’s our responsibility to understand it and be our own ‘knight in shining armor’ and come out of the terrible feeling of break-up.

Staying Alone after a Breakup can act as a healer

I won’t say it would be an easy task to handle our emotions, self-doubts, anger, mental & physical health and daily chores all by yourself when you just had a break-up but it’s not impossible and that I can tell you for sure. Staying alone after a break-up gives you time to understand yourself all over again. Till yesterday you were a girlfriend or a boyfriend of someone and you were involved in that relationship, your decisions involved your partner, your daily activities involved your partner, you used to think what your partner likes or dislikes and your actions were based on that to some extent. But today, after the break-up you have time to think about yourself. You can make decisions that involve only you and your happiness. You can cook your favourite meals for yourself that you haven’t eaten for long because your partner used to hate it, you can meet those friends whom you used to avoid because your partner feels insecure and you can do so many other things.

A Growing Phase for You

After a few months or a couple of years when you’ve moved on completely from this relationship and this break-up phase you’ll find yourself more fulfilled, confident, self-sufficient and empowered. Use this alone after the break-up phase to work on yourself, to grow as a human, to make yourself strong emotionally. At the end of this break-up phase you’ll come out stronger than before and you’ll be proud of yourself. To help you organize your mixed up emotions and to move on from this break-up all by yourself so that you can enjoy your singlehood to the fullest a few things are mentioned below that you can consider.

10 Ways to deal with Breakup on Your Own

1. Give time to yourself

When you are already facing an emotional turbulence because of your break-up it gets very difficult to do anything. You tend to sleep all day long or you just scroll through social media feeds endless, you don’t feel like eating or talking to anyone or you just keep questioning yourself about the reasons behind your break-up. Don’t rush yourself for anything. You will not start to feel all happy in a day. Give some time to yourself to heal. Acknowledge your feelings and emotions you are feeling after your break-up, don’t deny it. Spend some time with yourself. It’s time for you to organize your thoughts and emotions, and one of the best ways to do that is ‘journaling’. In journaling all you have to do is write down everything that is going on in your mind during this break-up phase, write about how you feel, write the things you wanted to say to your ex-partner but something is restricting you.

2. Express Grief/Cry out

Sometimes it’s okay to break down and cry your heart out. Feel your emotions. Break-up is indeed a very difficult situation for you and the only thing you can do right now is to accept the situation, let out your anger and frustration, and acknowledge your emotions as well as the situation that you had a break-up. Let your emotions flow.

3. Listen to songs (sad or happy) – just avoid songs that reminds you of your ex-partner

Music is known to be therapeutic, it makes us feel calm, relaxed, and we get different emotions based on the genre when we have certain situations related to that music. During this break-up phase, listen to music of whatever genre you feel like whether it’s sad, happy, rock, pop, jazz or any other genre. If you feel like crying while listening to music then cry your heart out. But one thing that I would suggest you do is to avoid listening to songs that remind you of your ex-partner. Sometimes it’s ok to not face the reality when you are not ready for it but smart are those who prepare themselves for the harsh reality because sooner or later you have to face it.

4. Give backseat to your emotions and let brain do the driving

You might think that everything will get back to the way it was before your break-up. When out of 100%, 99% you’ll know that everything is over, yet in the remaining 1% you’ll want to hold onto a hope that you’ll get your ex-partner back but it’s better to accept the reality because holding onto a hope might give you more pain in the future. Now, it’s time to think practically and rationally rather than to think emotionally. If your ex-partner wanted to be with you then he/she wouldn’t have left you and broken-up with you. When we want something we work for it. And now it’s time for you to work for your own happiness.

5. Spend some time with Mother Nature

Nature is a natural healer. The blowing wind, the rays of the Sun, the moonlight, the chirping of birds, the smell of flowers – everything is nature’s creation that makes us happy from within just by spending some time in nature. Break-ups make us lethargic, dull and sometimes numb too. Just go outside, close your eyes and feel the rushing wind on your face, feel the hotness of the sun rays. Focus on all of nature’s beauty and try to block your negative thoughts for some time.

6. Engage yourself in activities/hobbies

The best thing to make our break-up phase fun and useful is to engage us in activities or hobbies that we enjoy. If you are a reader, read books – explore different genres, if you like drawing or painting – just use different colours and put your emotions and thoughts on a canvas. When we sit idle we give our brain free passes to wander everywhere and end up overthinking and feeling sad all over again about the break-up. Engage your mind in activities that boost happy hormones – exercise, go for running, spend time in nature, play with a dog (if possible and if you like), cook or eat what you like and learn new things.

7. Self care is self love (pamper yourself)

Generally, we try to take care of our loved ones especially when we are in a relationship, we try to take care of our partner even more but we hardly focus on showing love to ourselves, taking out time for self, pampering self. Now that you have this alone time after break-up you can focus on loving, caring and pampering yourself. Don’t be too harsh on yourself and don’t blame yourself for this break-up. Relationship is a two-way process and it takes two people to work simultaneously to make it work. Do things for yourself – Go to a spa, change your hairstyle if you want to, sleep for some extra hours if you feel like, do everything that makes you happy. Go to that long awaited solo trip if you want to. Just love yourself a little more than before. Practicing meditation and meditation also helps a lot. Do positive self-talk, say positive things to yourself, for example,’this time is all about myself, I’m strong enough and I can move on from this terrible feeling of break-up.’

8. Think about your Life goals

As any human being you also must have thought of doing a lot of things in life, to experience new things, to visit a place that you have only heard about, to do a course that can benefit you in your career and the list is never ending. Now after this break-up you have time to think and utilize this time to plan for all the pending to-do list of yours. Think about the ways you can grow emotionally, financially, mentally and spiritually.

9. Enjoy Singlehood

After break-up the first thing that you crave for is the attention and love that you used to get from your partner. This can often lead you to act impulsively. You might think about starting dating again or to just meet a new partner and hook-up. But it is a big ‘NO-NO’ right now. On your way to fill that void you are feeling after a break-up might end up in something worse. You might regret your decision later. Make this after break-up phase all about yourself, enjoy every moment of your singlehood where you don’t have to think about anyone else before you.

10. Find yourself

While being in a relationship we start to lose ourselves a little to make our relationship work. But after break-up you are getting a chance to be single again and a chance to rediscover the lost parts of yourself. Start focusing on yourself again like you used to do before the relationship or before the break-up. Connect with your family and friends, talk to them if you need to talk to someone. Take help from a mental health professional if you feel like it. Start to work on yourself, on your growth – ‘Find Yourself’ !

Get in touch with Psychologists and counselors at OnlineCounseling4U

OnlineCounseling4U offers the best counseling service for stress, loneliness, break-up and relationship issues. You can find certified psychologists who speak your own language and that too while you are in your own comfort place, your home. You can have one on one sessions without breaching confidentiality. You can talk to the psychologists freely because in OnlineCounselling4U psychologists are non-judgemental, open-minded and accepting in nature. You can book your appointments for any time of the day. The psychologists are always ready to help you with your issues.

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